goodbye wasabi

I was kind of pissed
when boss'wife of wasabi called me today,
and told me don't need to go forever from this week.

I am not pissed because she fired me
or the reason: she needs another full time, not part time.
I am pissed because she didn't give a time to prepare.

I kind of konw this day will come
when I heard about she was gonna find another full time
from one waiter. 
But, she should had told me a week sooner,
so I can have time to find a new job.
Also, I helped her a lot when she needed help.
I worked 6 days for her because she needed me.
Now, she doesn't need me anymore
so just kicked me out.

That's not cool.
That's called selfish and mean.

Whatever the reason is,
now I am looking for another job,
and I WILL FIND IT~!!!!

I can relax this weekend~~~I might go to NY this sunday~~
but I can't use too much money...(out of work)..

Tonight, I had time~!!
Made two pics~~~!!!
Long time haven't do it~~~!!
I was happy~!

Lucky one?

I was very stressed because of what happens in my life;
I couldn't stay clam, stressful, worry, upset...
Then I went to NY for run away from those thoughts.

I met Sherry,
We had talk.
She said:" You must had great easy life before."
"Why is that?" I asked,
"'cause all the problems aren't a big deal." She said.

Then she told me
Her parents always let her do her own things,
make her own mind,
Chose her own way of life,
her parents didn't care about her as much as my parents.

Look, what end up to?
I am the weak one, and she is the strong one.

I remember a book's title 
which I saw more than 10 years ago.
I never had chance to read the book,
But I can't forget the title

"Good girl goes to heaven, bad girl goes around world."

For real,
I finally believe that I am a weak person
in many ways.

MS, you were right about many things.

I am trying to change this weak me.
For real not easy,
has be living like this for 27 years.

But, I know I have to.
For better future and people who love me.

I don't wanna be the "lucky one"

HIDING

whatever you hide from others, 
you will also hide from yourself. 

And whatever you hide from yourself 
can control you without your being aware of it. 

A way of Living

Wasabi, the resturant which I have part time work,
is at a very busy main street. 
So many cars on the road, and so many shops on the side.

I can see a man who is holding a sign on the side of street.
No matter sunny or snowing,
he is always there, holding his sign.

That is his job,
That is what he does for living.

Everytime when I look at him, I feel that my life is good.

But, don't say that man is so poor
or he must be unhappy about his life.

No one has the rights to judge others' life.

When my old friend asked me
"are you doing good those years?"
I asked him
"What is the definition of the good?"
He said
"yeah...I wanna know too."

Don't change your way of life 
because what most people think the life should be
or most people think what GOOD, SUSSCE or HAPPY is.

Don't judge others' life by what they are doing;
how much money they have;
how many love they get;
how good they look...

Are you happy or not,
Only you know.

Don't live a life which is others' dream.

Live in your own dream.
Go your way, Life is only once.

Father's Words

My father is a great man.
He is out of normal man.
Handsome, high ethos, high quality of life,
has a lot of wisdom.

Once he was so successful.
The top of his job field.
He was on top of millions people.

Once he was circumvented by people work for him.
The lowest time of his life.
He left the city where he had his dream.

Once he lived in a small paradise by ocean.
He was there to healing his wound.
He was hiding from rest of the world.

Now he told me:
"don't be a dreamer, be more realistic"
"listen to others, don't just go your way"

I said:
"papa,You were doing what you believed and dreamed.
Even you failed, you didn't regret.
You wouldn't chose not go your own way,
and being regret later, right?
Papa, I am just like you."

He laughed on the other side of the phone. 
"You are truly my daughter.
But, still remember
To be able to be helped by GOD, 
you must help yourself frist.And,
Successful person is the one who can handle the loneliness."

Thank you, father.

Father's day is coming soon.
Wish you a happy father's day.

wish you were here

June already.

I went to NY kind of often those days. 
Once a week...('cause I don't wanna be alone)

I work everyday still. Monday to Sunday.
The afternoon of Mon,Tue and Wed is my free time.
I need to wash my clothes, clean my room, shop for food.
Sat morning is my relax time,
I go to Mall, book store or moive.

One of those afternoons, I'd go to NY.
To meet Sherry, my baby sister from CD.
She is young, highper, fun, and smart.
Maybe my mental is too young that I feel fit with her.
She is only 20.

every night of weekdays, I cook next day's lunch box.
Rice, Fruit, Salad, or Soup.
Health is important.

I have a lot of things to do, but I couldn't do any sometimes.
I bought books which I want to read.
I download music which I want to listen.
The first time of my life 
that I can't sit infront of computer for 2 hours.

I just bought a book which called "on my own"
Talk about how woman deal with "alone"
Ha~~the right book which I need.~

I kind of enjoy to be alone now,
Take time to do what I want to do,
Sit in book store or coffee shop for 2-3 hours,
Watch moive and cry by myself,
eat whatever I want to eat for diner.
Being lazy at home....

Everything doesn't seem too bad.
But,
Still,

Wish you were here.

H.A.R.D

H.A.R.D:I am learning how to live now.

Work Hard and Play Hard.

I started to care about my body and my health a lot. 
I got sick more than 3 times in 4 months...
which is not health.

I started to think about the food I ate,
and the life style which I have.
Boss' wife said it related to mental too,
If you are always upset and unhappy,
you are easier to get sick.

Un....so it means I have to find a happy life,
Why I always care about tomorrow than today?
Why I always think about you?

Some people can take it easy,
but I couldn't yet.

I am still learning a way,

a way of living.


L&M: 
SHAN