4月4日 星期四 晴

今天累了，上班只有三个人，一直到三点才吃饭。下班回家后吃了已经吃了两天的火锅，今天过后应该就可以倒掉了。兔子去他的乐高乐园了，所以就我和猫猫在家，吃了火锅，看了一部日本电影，然后就洗澡。明天打算去退两件衣服。兔兔明天在家休息，真好。

4月3日 星期三 晴

下班回家的路上，我在想要去买个记事本，好把工作上发生的事情都记下来。边这样想着，边忽然觉得我真的应该坚持写日记。我知道坚持写日记其实挺难的，首先是因为每日生活的平淡，好像没有什么特别的事情值得写下来一样，其次是没时间，下班后要赶回家做饭，做了饭还要吃，还要洗澡，还要护肤，还想要看书，还要争取早睡，还有想看的电视节目没看，电话那边还有老爸打进来的电话。根本就是没时间。我真觉得不是再给自己找借口。

但，我又真的是想写。

一直以来都想写文章，也喜欢写文章，但一直也没有时间。至少可能写日记能够练手吧。

今天上班没什么大事发生，店长k还是和以前一样糊里糊涂的，我常被他搞得没有耐心，甚至我在想是不是我真的是个没有耐心的人。明天area visual的a先生要来，正好是我们只有三个人上班，其中一个兼职还是下午两点才来。所以我已经做好下午三点再吃午饭的准备了。

现在也快12点了。睡了。

Is everybody greedy In today's world? I don't understand how people can ask more when they have so much Already. And the funny thing is they all use family and children as an excuse. It's like If you do it for the family, there is nothing wrong with it.

Still immature

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When I feel that I can't accept others or feel sour about others, I noticed how ugly the feeling was and how much I don't want to have that kind of feelings in my heart. How can I avoid being unpleasant to others' life? I felt that I am not mature enough.

I often feel Mr.Rabbit is far more mature than me or I can say that he has a much bigger heart than I do. It seems like no one's business really bother him, and he is happy about others' life even if he doesn't care or like that person.

How can I have a bigger heart like him does?

I thought the reason for me being unpleasant to others is that I am not satisfied with what I have or who I am. And it only development recently years. Were I like this before I was 27? I thought I was always happy and careless of others. I didn't have any envy or jealousy to others. Maybe I did have it all.

Something isn't right about my mind. Why I am not happy about myself? I often blame it to my work. I don't know if it's true or just an excuse that I found for myself. I want to dress pretty which I can't do at work. When I don't feel pretty, I don't seems to care about how people see me. But I don't like the way I see myself, as a dirty, stupid and ugly person.

I should just put my eyes on myself rather than others. And believe in what I believe, not be moved by others. 

Something to scared of

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It seems like I come here when I am scared. Everyone gets scared, right? I don't want to share my fear with anyone. The idea of sharing is as scare as the scare.

I have to let Rabbit know. He might not think it is a big deal, or he might be as worried as I am.

It is not a good feeling.

When I get scared, I normally just want to hide in the home. That's how I feel now.

It is soon to face the fear....I have to, there is no way out.

How a stupid mistake that I made when I was young can come back so strong.

Please, God, please help me.

I learned from the past, and there is second chance, right?