Dear Osaka China Girl;
I miss you.
I know you are having a very hard time. I know you wish there is someone for you, hug you, listen to you, just let you cry, give you warm feeling. But, there is no one right now......Ha....I am worried about you. You are like another me...my dear sister....
I remember our old time in EMU. I was boylish, and you were fat (haha). We didn't talk that much. We didn't really hang out. In my mind, you are always that girl who likes to eat ice cream, and always smile.
I can't picture you cry, you depress...
Do you remember that you wrote a card to me before? When we were just 18 and 19? I know you must forget what you wrote, but I remembered. I found that card today, I wanna you to know what did you write to me.
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Dear Xixi,
I am so sorry to see that you're not happy, but I believe that things will get better when you be strong and positive. Please remember, I am always your friend, and I am always pleased to share your feelings with you, no matter it's happiness or sadness. So when you feel depressed and lonley, please get me in Northlawn #349 A, though I may not at home, but I will be willing to spare some time from chatting on the internet to have a chat with you ^v^. I guess I have always been a good listerner, haven't I? And I also like to share my feelings with you, if you want to know what a silly life I am living ^V^.
We both know that here is really a bad place, but we need to go through and welcome all of it. I wish to see your beautiful smile appearing agian on you face. This is what you are supposed to be, because you are Xixi, a girl who is always happy and positive in my heart. In all your friends' heart.
Pleaes live a wonderful and happy life for yourself, for your friends, and even for vilen(haha), for your parents. Tomorrow is always more beautiful than today, so, be hopeful and cheerful, let's enjoy the time here and have some fun !!
By the way, I must tell you, you are really a great person, that I enjoyed the time that I spent with you so much !!!
Lots of love from your truely
**^v^ (fat smile)
99.11.1
P.S. We all love you that much, so please be happy. let us see your wonderful smile which always light up our dull days agian!! Wish you a happy and great time from now on! Everything will be fine, Don't worry!! ^v^
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How nice was you to write such wonderful thing to me. You still called me Xixi at that time...Compare to now, we were happy. It is so sad to see you like this now. We all went through much hard time than we thought. We all got hurt, sad, depressed, lost hope of life. But, please do what you said to me before " Be Strong and Be happy". My heart is always here for you. I know you feel so lonely and helpless. Me too. We know what we need, but there is no one can give us what we need. So, we have to work hard, hard and harder. I know the lonleness is killing you, it is killing me too. I miss my family, I miss someone I love and loved. But, I can't change what alreay happened, you can't too. We only can live in the future, and die in the history.
I wish I could be there, be your side, hug you, cry with you. I wish I could be in that city, looked at all the happy strange people with you and piss off at ourself. I wish I could be with you, smoke with you, drunk wit you.....but..I am here, you are there......
Life is hard now, but I wanna you to be strong, to move on. Please eat something good, sleep well, don't hurt yourself....'cause after all...you are hurting people who are still love you. I still love you. You are the only few friends that I have in my life. I don't wanna lose you...I don't wanna lose any one important for me anymore....I won't leave you....you will always be in my heart.
No forever rain...Sun will shine...
We have to keep faith, keep believing...one day....sun will shine...ne~!
GANBATE~! GANBATE~!
Love yours,
Shanshan
