Everything happens inside of you

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There is something bothers me. I am in love. I am in love with Mr.B. That put my self-doubt and confidence from high to low. I start to be worried by other women, be worried by how other women might take him away from me or maybe he will go away with other women.

I just don't want to lose him, and lose a good chance to have a good relationship, a family that I dream to have, a good man, finally, a good man. I don't want to fall in love with some kind of assholes again, or someone who can't be a father or stupid. Mr.B seems to be perfect. I am scared of using the word "perfect" because I know nothing is perfect. Do I actually don't trust him, don't trust other women, or just don't trust love? Do I still believe in the power of love? Do I still believe that love can conquer everything? Do I still believe that a man could love and only love one woman in his life time? Do I still believe that a man wouldn't cheat on his loved ones?

I am scared. Every time when I feel the power of love push my heart close to Mr.B's, I am afraid. To be hurt, to be lost, to go back to the old road that once I was walked on. I don't want to feel jealous, worries, distrust and so on. If all those are love will bring, am I willing to take all those?

I love Mr.B. I want to have a family with him. Couple children, a dog, 2 cats. God, am I wishing too much? I just want to be happy, to have a normal 30 years old woman has. I am tired of being a teenager. I want to have a family with someone loves me truthfully and deeply.

No matter who you are, how rich you are, how beautiful you are, how famous you are, in front of love, you are a little baby face a big wall.

Love, and to be loved. Never be hurt by anyone, anytime, anyhow.

May God be with you.