Not happy?

I think I am not doing so good with my job. I am not smiling to people or being nice to people. I don't know if it is because I got use to what I do or I got bored with what I do or I just don't like what I do.

Of f cause I don't like what I do.

I want to be able to wear nice clothes, nice shoes, have nice hair and nail done, with nice make-up and notebook computer, talk with smart and powerful people, look at people's face and eye, don't have to be smile to everyone who isn't nice to me, don't have to work 9-10 hours and paid like shit, don't have to work on the weekends and being bored during work time, don't have to stay in the little store everyday and no even lunch break, don't have to drive for almost a hour everyday and go home tired without dinner ready.

Off cause I am not happy.

But what I can do to change it now? Right now, right this moment? I really can't think of anyway to change anything. It's my fault to end up like this. I shouldn't compliance to others. I know I can't live like this forever, no, I can't. Maybe top 2 more years. That will be my limit. I have to move on.

My life is better a little bit already. I am happy about that. I have Mr.B in my life now which I am very happy about it. I guess I am just a little bit blue today which I shouldn't be at all. I will try to cheer up myself a little bit.

What am I worried about? Life? or Other people?

LOL.