It was socking.
When I read what he wrote, I was socked. First, I was socked to realize that is him. Second, I was socked when I jump read what he wrote. Then, I was socked when I read it one more time.
I didn't realize that is how he feels about the past still. It has been 6 years now. He still blames me and angry at me for the breakup. And, he still wanted to let me know that. I don't know what to say to that expect I am sorry for the past. I am sorry for what I did. I did apologize to him at least once before, either by phone or email. I know I was cruel to cut off relationship fast, but I think it was the best way to do it. I never told him what was happening in my life after we breakup, but I heard a lot of what was happening to him from him. He didn't have good years, didn't have good relationships, and felt like he wasn't happy about what he was doing. I am sorry that was what happening to him, but I don't want to think it is my fault to cost that. He didn't know, he didn't know I didn't have good years, didn't have good relationships, and wasn't happy about what I was doing. I had my heart broke too, into small pieces that I don't think I ever recovered from it yet. Do I hate that guy? Yes, I do. Am I angry at that guy? Yes, I am. But I won't show all my hates or angers to that guy because it is pointless. I want to be happy, I want to be healed from the broken heart, and the only way to do it is not reminding myself of that past. There are somethings and someones that you never forget. For everyone. You know you won't be able to forget, but you can choose to not remember.
I just want to let him know that I do truly wish him to be happy and find someone who is better than me, live a life which will make me regret of leaving him, and have his own happiness. We all hurt someone and got hurt by someone in our life. The important thing is to learn from the past and move on with life. Past will keep you in the past, but the future and the time won't stop for you.
I am not cruel person. I am just a person who want to be happy and have my happiness.
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