The baseball

Yankees just won the world series last night at NYC. I watched the whole game at home alone, and started to understand why baseball has so many fans, and why all those fans are crazy about it. Baseball is different with a lot of other sports. It is not a game which can be exciting though the whole game. It could be a bit of boring. It could be a very long hours game and too many rules to follow. I wasn't even understand the whole rules and only has been watch the game for couple times. However, when I was sitting on my bed, alone, in the dark last night; I first time felt that I could fall in love with this game.

Baseball, is like the process  of success. Each hit, each throw, each catch; one step at a time, every player has their own role, and they play it well. Then when it comes to the last moment of wining or losing, unlike other sport that players are always in moving motion which could take their attention from the stress that the cheering fans and press bring to them. Baseball players can actually hear the cheer, feel the press. The fans' cheering were loud enough to break down the whole stadium; all eyes, all cameras, all lights, are on the pitcher. He feels the heat, the passion, the hopes the prays. So much pressure on him, but he has to put all those behind, eyes on the catcher, mind on the hitter, "straight, curve or fast?"

I like that they have to stay clam under such pressure. The stillness of them, the Sharp mind and sharp eyes. Making the important decision in such a short time and giving the best performance under the pressure. I truly admire that. The clamminess, stillness, clearness of the mind. I truly, truly admire that. They don't show any fear, any panic, any thoughts in front of their rival. Everything, they hold in. They hold in all the thinking, planning, fear, worries and weakness; they straight up their eye contact, show no fear. I admire that. I want to be just like them.

The worse thing of being a woman is easy to get emotional. I try not to be, try just be rational, be clam, be reasonable, be understandable. Recently, I feel there is anger in me. The anger of jealousy. Yes, I have to be truthful to myself at least. I am jealousy at others. At people who are worse than me but got what I want easily. Life isn't fair. I should know that already, but it's so hard to see some people are happy by luck. I know I am better than them in many ways, but I just can't work around what I have to get what I want.

Well... I am still a human. A small small human.