7/09/2009

Couldy and Partly Sunny

At nail salon, being alone. Which is totally fine with me. I don't have any interesting to talk with those Korean over 50 old ladies. They talk all days long, talk about all those non-important things. I don't know what is so fun of that.

I think Panashie is sick. She would go to pupu way too often, and when she does it, she yells like crying baby. I thought about give her up. Just let her go. I feel I can't take care of her anymore. I don't play with her or give the attention that she wants from me. And, I really tired of clean up after her. I want my room to be clean, not cat's hair and pupu sand everywhere. But I would think that she has been there for me for 4 years now, I couldn't just let her go. But, if I can't let a cat go, how I would ever let a human go? I think I should let her go. It's about time.

3/03/2009

Do you feel the lonely?

I don't know if it is only me or not.

I feel the loneness from deep of my heart sometimes.
It doesn't happen often, but once a while, I would feel that.

Yeah. I don't have a boyfriend now, that doesn't make me feel lonely much; I never had any brother or sister, always a single child, that doesn't make me feel lonely much; I have been away from my parents and family members for 10 years now, that doesn't make me feel lonely much; I don't have very closed friends who share daily life with me now, that doesn't make me feel lonely much.

What do make me feel lonely is when all the things that don't make me feel lonely much appear together in my mind.

矢張り、寂しいな、あたし。I would think like that, and I don't know why everytime my thought is in Japanese. 面白いね、あたしは日本人じゃないし。矢張り、変です。

11/13/2008

When did the leaves turn yellow?

I still saw orange leaves on the trees just couple days ago, but there seems to be nothing left up there right now. Fall came faster every year, and I still don't know what future will be like.

Well... I can't write like I did before. Just wrote about life, love, fun or whatever just happened. It's seems so long ago that I could find every little enjoyment out of life. Days gone by same as yesterday, and I wonder if this is the way adult life should be.

I think I do worry or think too much a lot of times. That kept me far from the dream which I want to have. I just feel helpless sometimes 'cause I don't know what to do. I know it is becasue I don't ask for help either. Well...I guess I can't change myself to have this kind of pride.

Anyway,

Just haven't update for a while, wanted to write something about my life.

Everything is fine, not the best it can be, but I am still here~!

11/06/2008

今日有雨

窗外在下雨,

不知道什麽地方出了什麽事,警車救火車救護車全都從窗前開過去;
淋得濕淋淋的馬路上反射的都是讓人煩心的警燈。

這樣的天氣,正好配上這樣的心情。

不知是否又要度過一個灰色的冬。

什麽都救不了人心。

認真

原來,認真是個很沉重的詞

即使你想認真的對待,

別人不一定會想,因爲太沉重。

認認真真的對待生活,有時候也是一種錯。